How to set goals that don’t make you miserable

Oprah, Sean Combs, and Will Ferrell have done it. So have Katie Holmes and George W. Bush. These famous names have all run a marathon–a 26.2-mile test of mental and physical endurance. In the last decade, global participation in marathons grew by almost 50%, according to a study by RunRepeat. In 2018 alone, nearly 1.3 million people crossed a finish line somewhere in the world.

Many people simply love to run, but others enter marathons to build their confidence, test their limits, and pursue a lofty goal. To them, running marathons symbolizes high achievement and an anything-is-possible attitude. However, we rarely see what comes next.

Post-marathon syndrome is a well-documented state of sadness, worthlessness, and letdown that often follows race day. Author and Harvard psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar calls this "the arrival fallacy" in his book, Happier: Learn The Secrets To Daily Joy And Lasting Fulfillment.

According to Shahar, as you chase a target, you begin to expect that you’ll achieve it. That goal-hunting behavior triggers the brain’s reward centers and creates a sense of accomplishment, even as you’re still training. Your mind thinks you’ve already completed the marathon.

Once you cross the finish line, the experience is often less satisfying than expected. The arrival fallacy primes you for a crash. Yet, mainstream culture still pushes us to aim higher. We internalize a false belief that hitting big goals will make us happy, and life is sweeter on the other side of achievement.

But, the dark side of all this hustling is evident: Burnout is rampant. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders now affect 18% of the U.S. population annually. When you pursue a goal for the sake of pursuing a goal, you might find that you don’t end up achieving your own definition of success. The good news is that it’s never too late to step off the treadmill and work toward what matters for you. Here’s a three-step mini-guide to setting more meaningful goals:

• Clarify your priorities
• Narrow your focus
• Maintain the momentum

Continuous improvement also means trusting the power of compound returns. Every year, I spend a week in my hometown in Turkey, helping my family pick olives. The annual harvest is a visible reminder of how small actions add up. Each olive is literally a drop in the bucket, but after a week, we have enough fruit to produce gallons of oil. In life, work, and investing, small, consistent actions can have significant results. Most importantly, you’re far more likely to enjoy each step along the way.

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